The Ya-Ya Sisterhood

So I am sitting on the couch watching the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood for like the umpteenth time. I have serious cat allergies and my roommate has 3 of them, so I have taken a ton of benedryl but it is seeming to have the opposite effect of sleepiness on me. So, anyway, my point is I am wide awake watching this movie and thinking about the first time I saw this movie. My group of friends and I went to a small movie theatre to see it and related so well (and so loudly) that we about got put out of the theatre. That was in 2002 and man did we identify with this movie. I am wishing I could tell our story like this movie tells theirs. A story of life long friendship and love, one of disappointments and triumphs. Life lost and mourned, life that was born and celebrated. It would be a novel of epic proprotions full of humore and tears and lots and lots of alcohol. A true bond of friendship like so many never get to experience. I think i will dedicate one blog entry to each of the yaya's and see what is birthed that way. Can't hurt can it? Gotta start somewhere right?

Until tomorrow.

On the brink

So have you ever just felt so on edge that you think the slightest thing will push you over. But, over the edge into something good. Sometimes being on the brink doesn't mean that you are about to plunge to you death...but maybe plunge into a new and exciting experience. Life is strange for me right now. By my choice I am living with a gf of mine so we both can save some money. It is going well other than the fact I HATE not having my own space. I resigned from my job yesterday after much thought and diliberation. (well actually as I am editing this it was really last week) But I am 32 a single mother, in a semi-serious relationship and just feel like my life is upside down right now. I have more time on my hands than I ever thought I could want...and other than some slight cabin fever (i should be out in this beautiful weather getting inspired to write more) I am enjoying just spending some time sitting still. Taking my time to really think about what makes me happy. I am still so scattered (that has been a common theme lately hasn't it) I am hoping that as time goes on and my blog continues on that I will begin saying more substantial stuff...put some meaning behind it. Right now there is a method to my madness...I have my relationship, life lesson kind of blog~"That's all I have to say about that" (daniyelsblog2.blogspot.com) and I also have one dealing with being a parent called "The Sunny Side of Motherhood--that can be found at danibelle1920.wordpress.com So Random Thoughts continues to just be that...random thoughts. So who knows...they say you never know just how you may touch someone or inspire or encourage someone. So maybe all of these earlier posts will be happened upon by another young and lost soul and help them to find their way in this crazy thing called life.

In other news, I am now feeling like I have so much to write about and so much to share...talent, energy and passion with kids that I think I will never have enough time to finish it all. Tavis Smiley quoted Cornell West in his book Fail Up by saying that no matter how old we live to be...we all leave things unfinished. He says, "There are going to be ideas you will never develop, projects you will never complete, conversations you will never have, people you will never met, places you will never go, relationships you will never establish, forgiveness you will never receive, and books and speeches you will never write or deliver. We all die incomplete." He said all of that to say that it becomes the question of, "How good is your failure?"

So today I ask you...when you wake up tomorrow what are you not going to fail at? How well will you fail tomorrow? Don't take that as a mantra to be lazy and not achieve at all for if you know anything about the great men that Tavis Smiley and Dr. Cornell West are...that is far from how they have lived their life. So it goes back to what we have talked about before...pick your path...and get started. When you come to a fork in the road and you don't like the one you are on...go another way. But always keep moving and that is all i have to say about that...

Be blessed

Tapping into my Inner Soul

mysterious--eccentric
creative force
beacon of light
silent misery
painful dying
slowly fading away

scattered

So I have to tell you guys that I have been all over the place lately. I lost my job, have been doing some research and trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life. I want to write, I want to dream, I want to be heard but I haven't figured out how to make any of that happen yet. I am blogging and trying to find my voice. I am journaling to decide where my direction is going. What do I know about? Who wants to hear from me?  I know that I am relevant, I know that I am knowledgable. I know that I am quirky, funny and intelligent. So...where do we go from here? Who is with me? Will you tell your friends to read what I have to say? Happiness is a journey...not a destination. If you are out there and you are interested in reading, following my path to happiness and want me to encourage you to come along with me than follow me on twitter @danibelle_1920, on fb Danielle Herriford or danibelle1920.wordpress.com Come with me on this journey. I will show you love back...let's make our dreams come true guys! Let's goooooo!!! There is no time like the present.

Be blessed and keep writing.

D.

Saturday Morning

Ok...so it is slow motion on getting more followers and comments but that is ok. I am not discouraged! I am watching Thundercats with my children...and this is fricking awesome! It was one of my favorite cartoons growing up. As a matter a fact I am comfortable admitting that I had a crush on Lion-o back in the day. If you went for the catty, muscular, battle-ninja type! So anyway, for those of you patient enough to keep reading with me...i am just trying to get back into the rhythm of writing again, finding my groove, my voice, my message. But for the time being, I think I am afraid to really put anything of substance out there. So i guess what you are experiencing with me is the birth of my voice. The battle of when and how I can bare my soul and the message I hope to share with the world.

I am a single mother...and I know a lot about that. But i wonder do i have anything of value to offer to those who find themselves in the same boat that i paddle daily. I am raising men...little blue eyed rascals that I hope can encompass all of my compassion, heart, intelligence, But with more courage, sense of self and confidence. I need them to understand that no matter what...they can do any and all things. I want them to have more character and conviction in that character than I do. My upbringing caused me to be adaptable. Now adaptability is good to have but I take it to an extreme...I am so adaptable that I never want to have a firm opinion on anything. I am wishy-washy almost. I proclaim it to be that I just don't judge others. But maybe it is more that I don't wish to exercise my mind and opinions because then that causes confrontation and being called to the table on things. And that is something I always want to avoid. So in essence...I am a coward. Yet I want to be a writer. So unless I write about nothing...I am going to have to find some courage, some kahunas if you will...in order to stand by what I say, what I write and what I think. I am a grown ass woman...it is about time i start acting like one.

Thanks for reading.

Danielle

The sense of smell

so i am sitting on the couch...as my boyfriend dozes and he wakes enough to say something smart. (shocked face for me) my smart response..."hush before i bite your nose off" he is asleep but responds "how would i smell if you bit my nose off" and hence came my theory on how the sense of smell is the most taken for granted of all of our senses. Since i am trying to write and looking for inspiration in even the mundane, I am bringing the debate to my blog. What is the most abused and taken for granted, lest appreciated sense?

Now since I have already identified that strange orifice on you face, the nose, as something that doesn't get near enough credit...i am going to establish my opinion there. Your nose...in the black community (which i wholeheartedly and even against some's acceptance, i embrace) the nose tends to be criticized often and harshly...Your nose is to wide, nostrils to big, the butt of many jokes and the bane of shame for some. But i propose that this strange and weirdly shaped "thing" holds so much power and _______ that we should stop at times to honor...the nose.

Think to a favorite memory. I know you will remember the sights and the sounds and how you felt...but if you think about it...really stop and think about it, I would bet you would associate a smell to it. That even if you smelled that smell right now...it would take you right back to that exact moment in time. So even if you are trying to remember the sights and what so and so was wearing or saying...the smell would transport you with no need for additionally details.

I think of the smell of vanilla pudding. To this day when i smell vanilla pudding I am transported to a day when i was 8 or 9 sitting in front of my godmothers kerosene heater (and the smell of that) on a brisk and dreary sunday so sick because i had eaten all junk food all week. The smell of a pipe instantly makes me feel safe and loved because my daddy smoked a pipe for my entire life. Pipe smoke and flannel takes me to the red truck and the big tool box as we drove home for future problem solving practice.

I still remember the smell of my first born child (even though he is four now) and although i can't describe what he smelled like...it was a truly exquisite smell i will call ben-jammin and takes me back to the sleepless days and giddy nights of being a brand new mother.

So to my followers (and i hope that more will join our ranks soon) share with us some of your memories and smells...fresh cut grass, sexy men's cologne, peppermint or just a clean linen sheet...what do you love to smell.

Thanks for reading

D.

Hmmm

So i am having a rum and coke...sitting on the couch with my 4 yr old (who is playing on my smartphone) and wondering what i should blog about. i have been doing some research and wondering do i have what it takes to be a pro blogger. I mean really...does anyone care what little ol me has to say? i have been doing some research and even got some encouraging words from Chris Guillebeau who is making it happen...and he posed the question to me (not directly) what do i want to do in life? and what do i have to offer this world? I mean deep right? What do i have to offer the world?  hmmm...what do I, danibelle_1920, have to offer this amazing, off color, insane, lovable, disastrous, includes everything you can ever have, world? That is where i struggle. I need to find my voice, my confidence, my stride and my view. He and others have stated that you have to have a strong opinion about any and everything in order to make this thing work. If you are straddling the fence or offering all viewpoints on every topic...NO ONE CARES! That has always been a struggle for me. I am a diplomat, the voice of reason if you will. I don't allow my opinions and views to influence others. Now that i think about it...maybe that is my biggest problem. I am swallowing my pride and sharing with you all that i am on the verge of losing my job. While i am ashamed and kinda bummed because who wants that on their record, I am beginning to think this might be the best thing that has happened to me in a while. I don't know people...it is a crazy at times cruel world out there and i am trying to find my niche just like everyone else. I have a voice...and i am going to find it!!

Thanks for listening...and for anyone that is still reading my stuff...tell me what you would like to hear my opinion...let's grow together fellow bloggers.

Danibelle!

not forgotten

i have been gone for a while...and i am not even sure if my followers will know that i am back. but today and the last year has been an insane one for me...and i am now following my "dream" to be a writer...a problogger and make an income with it. I am getting fired from my job and it is totally my fault...but i need to put some things out there...i guess...at the end of the day i just need to write...write more, write better, write from my soul. i am learning that i have a voice...right now it is a small and contained voice...but i am going to make it louder and richer and more substantial that you can't ignore it. i have a voice and knowledge and skills that others don't. you can learn from me...you should want to be me...(not really) ;-) but let's go on this journey together and see what the hell happens...