i don't really have a lot to say...
i definitely don't feel like saying it creatively...
i just feel like i need to ramble...get some stuff out of my head so that i can find the peace of mind that Lauryn is singing about...
but what i cant figure out is what is keeping me from peace? I know that my walk is all jacked up right now...i have began to rectify that...but is it the recent goodbyes i have had to say, the relationships that have ended before they had the chance to begin...is my peace due to this infamous word stress that folks like to throw around like a please or a thank you? my life is my life...i love my life...it was created by choices that i made whether good or bad...it was the best choice at the time and it has made this plethora of events that i function and thrive in every day...is it easy? depends on your definition of easy...but its mine....
but there are days like today...i wake up tired, frazzled, nerves raw and patience thin...i think that i am going to break but I know that HE will never put more on you than you can bear...i don't doubt HIM...i just wish that maybe HE didn't have so much faith in me...LOL
but i know that in the big picture i am doing a good job, i am a good person, i am doing great things with my kids. The ones at home and the ones that I work with. Can i save them all? Of course not but some days i don't even want to try.
I am tired of bearing all the burdens alone...but i wonder if my expectation is too high for anyone to meet. I know that that is a possibility so i have prepared myself to be alone forever...but let's be honest. Who really wants to live this life alone...Love is what it is all about...love is what we fight for, work for, crave and desire. Love is the reason Jesus died for us on calvary...It is all about LOVE!!! So why is love not interested in finding me...hell maybe it is because i sometimes can't find myself...lol some days it is just enough for me to make it through the day...i don't know where i am...I know where 'mama' is...and i know where 'Ms. Herriford' but where is Danielle? No clue...not nare idea! LOL
Sigh...not sure what i was trying to say here...just wanted to say something...wanted to my few followers to know that i haven't abandoned you all...i still read your stuff and you inspire me, make me smile, laugh and think...wanted to make sure i am keeping up my end of the deal too...
maybe i will find some inspiration soon...hmmm...until next time!
I think everyone feels like that from time to time but I think when you least expect it your gonna find someone. My mom always tells me it's okay to be alone and I think once your okay with it, that's when someone comes along! lol
ReplyDeleteI have long made my peace with it and am very content with my life. i am kinda tired of the issues that relationships pose. i don't know why everyone wants to make them more difficult. But really that is the last thing on my mind right now.
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