Regrets

Full of regrets cause i didn't show my love
How many will i have to lose before i learn my lesson--
That they tears that fall at the sunset are to late to be seen
when the whole day was given to me.
Underappreciated... the ones i have lost--taken away another one I just couldn't show
How much i loved them, needed them and had so much to learn...the wisdom and knowledge i let go to waste...what is the issue that keeps me hiding from their face.
Why is it so hard to show what without a doubt i know
I stay in my bubble and my own little world---allowing folks on the peripheral but not inside to close
Things of the past haunt through the night--i guess i am scared for people to see the truth that is really me.
Beauty on the outside but must be so ugly within--how else can you explain how family treated so indifferently.
A mother's love never given
A father who showed he didn't care
Uncles who took the wrong kind of interest
Aunts who were so consumed that their tormenting was the worst to endure
Now God has given me a new family a better family one that appears to want to be there...
but the damage is so great that it is easier to deal alone than the burdens to share.
Little boys looking at me to learn love-center of my world but don't they need more
How do i open and let go of the past to be the mother, daugther, lover, sister and friend?
I am welcoming love on some many levels...this change has to be made so that when the next sunset comes if its closer to home...i won't have the regret that they doubted my love.