Unexpected Journey (her side)

i am laying on the couch texting him...oh wow...i haven't talked to him in years...God it is so good to hear from him. He was the coolest guy ever. He was so sweet and genuine...oh crap...he said he is coming now...shit...look at my apartment. I jump up and start throwing clothes in the closet, stacking books on the book case, running dishwater...phone rings..."i am at the gene synder" oh wow i have 13 minutes according to him...gotta get the trash out, where is my gum, let me vacuum real quick, check my makeup, put on perfume...phone rings again...getting directions for the last stretch...is pulling into the parking lot...why won't my heart be still...it's just him. we were cool back in the day. no biggie. he pulls up...what do i do with my hands. he is out of the car...deep breath girl...damn...he is bald now...oh girl you like a bald man...now that is not what you are supposed to be thinking...he is a friend. chile look at his shoulders...whew he has filled out...stop! he does not want you...you got two kids and long past...he is not studdin you...you are a friend...but his smile is so pretty...give him a hug and say hi goofy...I give him a hug in the parking lot...he wraps his arms around me and i feel like i am home...oh this isn't a good sign...invite him in the house...we get up the steps and talk and talk...everything he is saying is so right...is he reading from my script...does he really know me this well after all these years. and damn he is funny...another low blow...bald, smells good, nice smell...what is going on here...well, gotta get the kids...without any hesitation i invite him along. I don't let me kids around anyone...but he is a good guy...the need good role models...its all good...we are back home...he is playing with the boys. oh wow he is good with them. the boys like him...they don't warm up to strangers this easy. he is at ease with them...it isn't a front...to calm my heart i ask "are you trying to be good with my kids to get at me" he looked at me straight crazy..."i love kids" i am melting even more...we talk and talk and talk everything fits...my two biggest insecurities and he isn't fazed...he is feeling everything i am saying...i can see it in his eyes...i am feeling him...too much...let's not get ahead of yourself...he is beautiful...he has filled out since college. he has grown up alot...he is so smart and funny and he is deep but on the same level as me deep. i get him...he gets me...but can he kiss? lord knows i can't fool with a man that can't kiss...where is my phone? i send him a text...his smiles and texts back...i am being so shy! why am i shy? i am not a shy girl...we flirt...he gets up...i get up...he is running from me...we are giggling...let's just do it...i kiss him...oh wow...oh wow..i can't stop...but i gotta stop...the blood is draining from my head...i am lightheaded...i hold on for a few seconds longer...we sit down and we talk and talk and talk... i haven't gotten this good of conversation in so long...this is stupid...i can't be falling for him this quick...i mean whoa...he is leaving...but i don't want him to leave...but he has to leave...can't stay...i won't behave...he kisses me again...i hold on tight...i wonder if he notices how much i am enjoying this...oh wow...what have i started?